It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize