Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
