I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
