Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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