Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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