do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
nutella sex= disaster
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
FUCK WHALES
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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