a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize