I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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