So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
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