Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
