i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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