I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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