The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
