Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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