I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
