Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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