Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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