Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
