i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
