I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
