Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
it's great music for shaving your balls
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
