I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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