Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Alive.
So much puke
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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