So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
