Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
