i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize