My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
