ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
