I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
