oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
