Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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