3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
