btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
