For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
