He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize