Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
