What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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