U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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