Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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