you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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