Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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