oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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