i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
