WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I want her autograph on my taint
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
