is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
