He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
