Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
