i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
