if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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