Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
