wrigley field is MILF paradise
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
wow bdsm is so cute
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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