I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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