Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
