sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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