Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
