Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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