YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
