So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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