I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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