i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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